ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
