Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
