idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just had sex bonerless
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
