How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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