Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
we should paint friendship bongs
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
