Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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