Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
