She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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