You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
