Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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