Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
