is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
