I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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