I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
