wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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