Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
