She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
