my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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