using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
