True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
