Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
