some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Found your dick twin last night
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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