Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
