i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
