WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
