there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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