So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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