If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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