I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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