physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
