i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
