okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
