problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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