i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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