Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
