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Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
