No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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