This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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