If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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