Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
