Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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