i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
