speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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