thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
