# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
