Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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