my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
