the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
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I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
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She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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