we have pet lesbian snakes
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
how does that bad decision feel?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
