I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
