Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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