my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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