I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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