I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
