Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
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and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
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I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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