your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
