Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize