Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
