Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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